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Welcome to the "Posts Archives". What follows is a bunch of hilarious stuff that I´ve collected from the newsgroup ABPG (alt.binaries.pictures.grotesque). These first two posts are the reason I started this site. See, instead of showing these pics and telling what someone respondeded to them (in a funny way), I started collecting them on my page. In that way I didn´t have to rely on my non-existent memory!!! (my BRAIN!!! NOT Ram!!! ;-)) So, on the following pages you will find the funniest posts from ABPG (the Newsgroup).

Don´t forget, You can submit your Own comments to the pictures by pressing the "Submit" button following the comments (don´t forget your handle!!!). And if I think it´s funny, then it´s in!!!
Now, start scrolling down and rotfl. :-)

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Title: "?" From: ? Posted: ? Text in Picture: Julio Castillo impales himself on a fence while trying to catch a baseball "?": But the Important thing is, Did he get the Ball??? "Dan Berton": Looks like he found traditional methods of getting one's daily dose of iron insufficient "Vaughan": I thought fencing and baseball were different sports...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: July 8 1989, Julio Castillo impales himself on a fence while trying to catch a baseball in Queen´s, New York

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Title: "?" From: ? Posted: ? "?": I can´t believe they´re ruining a perfectly good fence for That!!! "?": Isn´t it better to Yank it off???

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Julio Castillo impaled on a fence

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Title: "ABPG - Rectal foreign objects" From: Llorta Posted: 1999-04-24 "Text in Picture:": [...] (carrot) remove transanally (ie: From someones Anus) with a 25 cm proctosigmoidoscope. "Eurasmus B. Black": Heck of a place to grow carrots. Too hard to harvest. (Later this pic was reposted by Llorta) Title: "Repost of all my scans - cas4.jpg " From: Llorta Posted: 1999-07-21 "Drew": I sure hope they didn't waste that carrot! :) Some starving kid in some squalid country would surely have gobbled it up! "Eurasmus B. Black": WHEN will people learn to chew their food THROUGHLY? "Rixter": Pretty fancy words for (Pulling a carrot out of your ass).

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Large impacted high-lying foreign body (carrot) removed transanally with a 25 cm proctosigmoidoscope.

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Title: "ABPG: Serbia.jpg" From: Yaffle Posted: 1999-04-24 "fb": MY GOD THAT WAS GROSS!!!!(as i sit here laughing my ass off) "cheesie puffs": ya gotta admit- his facial expression- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OK SO IM SICK SUE ME! =)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Lybeniq, 25 May 1998 - (c) KOHA Ditore

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Title: "ABPG - Pizza,Anyone?" From: Queeg Posted: 1999-04-24 "fb": JESUS CHRIST THAT MUST HAVE HURT FOR .0000123 SECONDS. "Psyconutt": see i told you superman you have to be wearing your clean superman undies when trying to stop tanks... silly silly boy.. will you never learn? "Who Knows": Just another Pirelli ad... "Calypso": What's the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead lawyer? The dog has skid marks infront of it. Lawyers should all look like that. "DocH": call them back, they missed his leg "Connie and Janet McLaurin": I bet he ain't got the guts to do THAT again! : ) "Janne": You can't stop progress - and definitely not the Arms Race. "Jack Haslam": Dont like tennis, prefer Squash "Vaughan": Same thing'd happen if you didn't get out of the way of a really SLOW tank.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: What happens when you don´t get out of the way of a speeding tank"

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Title: "ABPG- How about a little head?" From: Skippy Posted: 1999-05-02 "furplay": Poor slob...........he ain't got no body to complain to. "Jerry Jones": Well I'll just open it up and see what Mr. T. KACZYNSKI sent me.....whoever the hell he is. (Ted Kaczynski = UNABomber / ColinZeal) "Gary Griffin": Robin Williams as the headless horseman

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Title: "ABPG: Some Reposts" From: kent Posted: 1999-05-05 "Jim Wraith": He's the one guy at Jonestown to *pretend* to drink the drink. I bet he thought he was so cool ;) "fb": he's the guy who sleeps with everyones girl once they pass out. MAN IS HE GOING TO GET LUCKY TONITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Title: "ABPG: Some reposts" From: kent Posted: 1999-05-05 "furplay": Regardless of the explosion at the nearby factory, the Domininguez Family Reunion photo would go on as planned, with ALL family members attending, one way or another. "BILLYJFOREMAN": is there no end to modern art?

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Title: "ABPG: From Belgrade to You! 5th pic of 5 - Belgrad5.jpg" From: Dr. Demos Posted: 1999-05-08 "fb": SUCH PRETTY FLOWERS "Dark One": Now children, daddy may be dead, but at least we can have a campfire. Who brought the marshmellows? "Janne": Look! He hasn't been dead for more than a few hours, but he's allready pushing up the daisies.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: A missile making a direct hit to a to a bus load of people on a bridge!

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Title: "ABPG- Gore Gallery Originals - gg-bluebutt.jpg" From: Swimpmeister Posted: 1999-05-21 "LilBlackSambo": So... this dood sed, "Gee!! I think I'm havvin a heart attack!! Maybe I should pull my pants down before I die!!" ? I mean, ain't that what EVERYBODY does when they're havvin a heart attack? "Drew P. Droz": NO - most guys pull their pants down when they have a HARD attack. Maybe he got the words confused, though? "Geeb": NO- most guys pull their pants UP when their havin' a... "Llorta": I wondered about that too. It looked like the guy was using drugs before he died (apparently not on the toilet, which would explain it). Did that cause him to have a heart attack with his pants down? I suspect that what might have happened was the coroner came along, found the body, and pulled his pants down to look at his ass to see how long he had been dead and whether his body had been moved. One of the doctors in The Andromeda Strain did it (immediately pulls dead guy's pants down to look at his ass) because the way blood pools in the buttocks (or other body parts) after death gives clues as to how long the person's been dead, what position they've been in since their heart stopped beating, and whether someone's moved them. I might be full of shit, and I welcome whoever tells me I am. I read The Andromeda Strain (a science fiction novel) when I was about 7 or 8 (26 years ago) and I'm pretty drunk. Am I even making sense?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: BlueButt Man Body decomposed for six weeks after a heart attack

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Title: "ABPG- Gore Gallery Originals - gg-rrdecap3.jpg" From: Swimpmeister Posted: 1999-05-21 "Robinson": Okay... it is obvious how the head got there, but how the hell did he get that oval shaped hole there where his enes used to be? "CUJO": Oh my God!! Isn't THAT one of the X-Men ????? "phil curry": i say! whats that on the track, ahead? "NiteCretr": You know, being dead here would really suck if it wasn't for these tasty rocks. Mmmmm. "big.chisel": I would have seen the fucking train if I didn't have this black tile over my eyes.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Railroad Head Decapitation

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Title: "ABPG: Reports And Fills--ass1.jpg" From: Little_Dirty_Johnny Posted: 1999-06-02 NOTE: The program LDJ used to post this post added this line: "This was posted with unlicensed software. Please encourage the user to register this software" "Billy the Kid": This is an interesting grotesque pic! Oh, please register your software. Thanks!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Visit Brian´s Page of Antique Weirdness

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Title: "ABPG: Reports And Fills--cbth0034.jpg" From: Little_Dirty_Johnny Posted: 1999-06-08 "Eurasmus B. Black": Looks like Kilroy was here.! "Connie and Janet McLaurin": I always thought it was "balls to the wall" I had no idea a board was involved

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Title: "ABPG: Reposts And Fills--C__WINDOWS_TEMP_nsmailVG.jpeg" From: Little_Dirty_Johnny Posted: 1999-06-08 "Llorta": Did I ever tell the story about the paraplegic guy I knew who couldn't feel his dick and used to entertain people by putting keys in it? One time he was at this punk rock bar and showed some people how he could put keys up his dick. A few minutes after he finished a bouncer came along and said, "I heard you were putting keys up your dick. I don't believe it, but if it's true, stop it or we'll throw you out!" "Who Knows": I didn't know you had to wind them up after use! Time to revise the Sex-education course at school. "Connie and Janet McLaurin": Well, that explains the old expression, "nail her"!

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Title: "ABPG: Reposts And Fills--decap3.jpg" From: Little_Dirty_Johnny Posted: 1999-06-09 NOTE: The program LDJ used to post this post added this line: "This was posted with unlicensed software. Please encourage the user to register this software" "Llorta": You better watch it, LDJ! Those poor slobs were getting decapitated for posting with unlicensed software! "narcoticus fox": FORE!! "John Tuuri": I like the guy in the back, "Oh, this IS going to suck!"

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Title: "ABPG: Reposts And Fills--ere-168.jpg" From: Little_Dirty_Johnny Posted: 1999-06-16 "Laura Esser": Gawd, I love reading this newsgroup right before dinner. I wonder...does it taste like chicken? "Lou Donohue": No, young lady. It probably tastes like pulled pork. Just add a little east Carolina sauce, lotsa vinegar. "Laura Esser": LMAO! (=Laughing My Ass Off /ColinZeal) Thank you Louis, after the dreadful day I've had, I needed that laugh. Now I just need to clean the coffee off of the monitor. "taxicabbage": no wonder that burger tasted funny. "Whappa": does that hotdog come with "cheese"?

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Title: "ABPG: Reposts And Fills--ds069.jpg" From: Little Dirty Johnny Posted: 1999-06-16 "fb": I THINK IM IN LOVE "Weld": (Taken from Justmeat.com) He ate Chris Farley!

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Title: "ABPG: testis.jpg" From: neff Posted: 1999-06-27 "Eurasmus B. Black": I think this is where the term "blackballed" originated? If you've been blackballed, you're 'out' and this guy sure is. "Psyconutt": Wasnt this the creature out of alien?? "joe": No, he was the creature in the trash compactor on Starwars "narcoticus fox": A lollipop fetish? Never heard of that one!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Figure 95. Torsion of the testis. An infarcted testis shown at operation through a scrotal incision.

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Title: "ABPG - little kid chomped on by pit bull - tcc08.jpg [01/01]" From: Llorta Posted: 1999-06-26 "Llorta": A million spammers in the world and the stupid pit bull decides to maul some innocent little kid! Stupid dog!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Five year old boy was attcked by a pit bulldog and lost almost all of his scalp and forehead. This injury was initially repaired with skin grafts. Using tissue expanders his entire hair-bearing scalp has been restored.

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Title: "ABPG - Gore for President! - tcc07.jpg [01/01]" From: Llorta Posted: 1999-06-26 he did'nt bring a cold beeer an have diner on the tabel when his wif told him to!!! "Billy the Kid": She must have been on drugs or something and lost sight of a woman's real place in life. Serving the male as she was intended to do. Nothing less.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Thirty-five year old male with soft tissue injuries and complex facial fractures. Postoperative result after one-stage reconstruction of soft tissue and bone.

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Title: "ABPG: T C's Collection--tcvd065.jpg" From: Little_Dirty_Johnny Posted: 1999-06-24 "Billy the Kid": What's up with these dick heads? Don't everyone know this is curable? well, I guess they deserve it. Plus!!! more to look at. "Llorta": I'll tell you what's wrong with them! They're too lazy to switch hands when they masturbate, which causes the curvature of the penis! They deserve it! "Billy the Kid": uh..oh.. thats whats causing this curved look. I was wondering about that. -- "Straub": Hahaha Billy you're such a wanker "crut": what da fug is da complaint. hook like dat gunna catch ya da BIG fish...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Peyronie´s disease. A. Wisdom. Color Atlas of Venereology. 1973.

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Title: "ABPG - Barry and fans (mod) - bd_barry06.jpg" From: Pie-Faced Lemur Posted: 1999-06-26 "Llorta": Are you comparing our government to a bunch of pinheads? Because that isn't really fair to the pinheads, you know?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: HE´S ONE OF US! Barry McCaffrey - National Drug Policy Director

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Title: "ABPG: T C's Collection--tcvd052.jpg" From: Little_Dirty_Johnny Posted: 1999-06-24 "Billy the Kid": Mom always told me this would happen. this or hairy palms -- "Psyconutt": Wow will ya look at that....... just got stuck in the moment didnt even notice all the smoke coming from me hands!~ almost sucked the sheets up me ass

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Palmar lesions of secondary syphilis. A. Wisdom. Color Atlas of Venereology. 1973.f

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Title: "ABPG - dead penis - length1.jpg [01/01" From: Llorta Posted: 1999-06-29 "Lou Donahue": I've been staring at the monitor way tooooo long. This looks like a face to me. Hope the meds kick in soon. ;-)} "Laura Esser": In the immortal words of Navin R Johnson: See a doctor, get rid of it ;-) "Hhippie": ribeye steak anyone?? "crut": you know, if ya count the rings ya can tell how old he was...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Post: Cross-section through a cadaver's penis.

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Title: "ABPG - Kid covered with flies - flies.jpg [01/01] " From: Llorta Posted: 1999-07-04 "Description of Picture": Kid Covered with Flies "GTaylor653": I think we can take this one to go.... All together now FLAP !! "BONEHEAD": "Hey Buzz this diner is kinda crowded" "narcoticus fox": Heyyy! I found a nickel!

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Title: "ABPG: nails3.jpg" From: neff Posted: 1999-07-10 Text in Picture: Figure 2. Dermatophyte onychomycosis of the tonail showing distal subungual hyperkeratosis and spears of onycholysis proximally. "Billy the Kid": No wonder medical costs are so damn high. Thats a lot of big words to have to learn just to say he's got a fucked up toe nail. "Rixter": Yeah, I'll bet it cost him $500.00 to find out his shoes were too tight..

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Text in Picture: Figure 2. Dermatophyte onychomycosis of the tonail showing distal subungual hyperkeratosis and spears of onycholysis proximally.

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