http://come.to/abpgmovies - ABPG Movies...

Movie title: "Tvtv.mpeg"
Location: Local
Gore?: No
Description: A clip from the Chinese TV (I THINK... No promises!!!), showing two guys on a soccermatch. They argue a bit, and the first guy, (let´s call him "Chan", shall we???), tells the other guy (Ummm, "Leonard Ho"??? (Got the name off the credits of "Police Story")) "Piss off you Dogleg eating Communist"!!! (...I THINK!!! It was a long time I spoke mandarin... ;-)) Now, "Ho" doesn´t like to be called a communist so he decides to kick him. And he does. This while "Chan" was streching himself. Now here´s the Really Manly part:
The "Ho" (Pun intended!!! :-)) actually kicks "Chan" in the back!!! "Chan" flies like a, ummmm... (for the lack of a better word:) "Leppäkeihäs" down 3 or 4 rows, and doesn´t look all that well after the landing as he lies on the ground.
So, that´s my interpetation of the situation, you can dl the clip and give your version of it Here.

Size:
640 071 bytes
Format:
Zipped Mpeg

Movie title: "Cutfinger.avi"
Location: Local
Gore?: YEAH!
Description: I have seen some REALLY Weird stuff on the net.
From the Necrophilia Faq:
Three essential things for a necrophile,
1. Condoms, should be in EVERYONES pockets, Necrophile or Not!!!
2. Vasoline. (Depends really on your sexual preference I guess!!! ;-))
3. a Shovel. Okay, THAT´S a Big "EWWWWWWWWwwww!!!"
:-)

Other kinds of stuff are the Pics a french guy who likes to call himself "Dolcette" (or something) Draws. They´re pretty much all about either,
1. A woman (always a VERY Good looking woman with perfect round tits) getting prepared as a meal of some kind. Either barbequed or cooked, With handcuffs. Or,
2. A newly hanged woman in agony, (again with PERFECT Tits!!!).
And there´s people getting turned on by that!!! HEY, I don´t Judge them, I just think it´s weird!!!

Or then there´s clips like Puk-E-Sian.mpg or Crush2.mpg or this one...

...which is a clip from those "BME" Guys... What? You haven´t heard of them??? Well, they like to mutilate their bodies in ways noone else would. Like pushing nails thru their own penises and stuff. Now this is not a "PenisClip". This is a "FingerClip".
Basically the Overtatooed guy cuts off his middlefinger.
Fake or not, it qualifies in the "REALLY Weird Stuff on the Net"... They offer all kinds of similar stuff for sale on their site, which I don´t have an url for. And I won´t link there! Just make a search for "BME" and/or "FreeQ" and you should find their site.

Size:
756 564 bytes
Format:
Zipped Avi

Movie title: "Skateboarder.mpg"
Location: Local
Gore?: Nah
Description: Don´t we just, L O V E skateboarders??? If you haven´t checked out the Skater.mov clip, you really REALLY Should... :-) They provide us mortals with death-defying stunts and sometimes (how do you spell "Hopefully"??? ;-)) they just fall flat with their simplest tricks, like the one I mentioned above, Skater.mov...

Of all kinds of movieclips the "Bonebreaker clips" are my favorites for some reason... I dunno why. Why do you like your favorite color??? Why do you like Beer??? (That is if you do.) Why do you like Women (alternatively "Men"!!! Ok "MachoGuys", start flapping those wrists and everybody together now, "EEEEEEEEWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!")???

You just do, you´re programmed to. And I like this clip, just like Skater.mov, Larsson.mpg and Tennis.mpg because, It´s not that we see blood (´cause we don´t), There´s just something (oh well, it´s kinda obvious) that implies that something has gone horribly wrong. You can only imagine How it feels and how MUCH It hurts... Basically, with my wild imagination, clips with limbs that bend to wrong directions, They just give me MAJOR Chills!!!

I just go "uhhuhuhumhumhum-AHHA-HA-HAOOOOOOUUUUUUUuuucccchhhhh!!!!" and start laughing, "Poor Baaastard!!! hahaaaahahaa... SlowMotionReplay??!?!? That has GOT TO Hurt!!! slapping-my-hand-on-my-desk LOOP LOOP LOOP!!! aaawwwwwwww... tihhihihihiiii... It beends the wroooong waay!!! EEEeeeeeewwwwww!!! This one just let itself in on my Movies Page!!! LOOP LOOP LOOP!!!" etc etc...
:-)

So, to wrap this up, This one isn´t as "spectacular" as Skater.mov (if you studied the clip like I did, then you know what I mean.. ;-)) but this one DEFINETALY has the "OUCH" quality to it if you know what I mean...
And Repeat after me, "We Just L O O O V E Skateboarders!!!"
;-)

Size:
1 665 028 bytes
Format:
Mpg

Movie title: "Chunks.mpg"
Location: Local
Gore?: Nope
Description: GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS !!!
I gotta admit, I couldn´t see this whole clip in it´s entirety the first time I doubleclicked it... why??? Because the first half is THE Grossest thing I´ve EVER seen!!! (and I didn´t know at that time that it would get WORSE!!!)
:-(
:-/
:-)
...
=D
And what´s it about??? Ufff... start downloading it now and I´ll tell you...

The other week I received a link to this clip in which a japanese girl was putting her fingers, no, her Hand down her throat to summon a puke effect (can you really say that???)
Anyway, at this moment telling the story to the two girls at my job (Both at their 20´s, one is my ex so I guess She deserved this!!! ;-) And the first girl??? Ummmm... Every War has it´s casualties??? :-)), at separate days, they were protesting violently (and laughing) at me telling this (in reality they must LOVE These Moments Riiiight??? ;-)).

There were pretty much similar effects from both of them, and when I got to the part where the jap girl (after she puked for like 3 times) starts looking for something with her hands in the bowl which she filled up moments before, finds a chunk of halfdigested food, rips it in half and eats it, they both went BALLISTIC!!!!

"EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!"

They closed their eyes and put their hands to their ears and started going like "AyOOOAaAAIIAaaaEeeOOOUUUaAAaAA!!!!"

Basically, they didn´t wanna hear it. ATLEAST that´s what I think, Understanding Women isn´t the easiest thing to accomplish... Anyway, moments later, when they calmed down and opened up their eyes they saw me doing (I was waiting for them to see me before I did it) a pantomine version of the Jap Girl lifting the Bowl with her both hands and putting her lips on the side of the bowl and sucking in the Puke into her mouth to drink it!!!

THAT was the moment I wish you ALL would´ve been There to See!!! The Girl´s reactions were just Undescribeable!!! I was almost crawling on the floor laughing!!!
I LOVE my Job....
:-)

(My GOD!!! Have you noticed??? I´m turning into a hippie due to a excessive use of the word, "LOVE")
Whattehell????
...
..
.

Anyway, So without ANY Doubt, This is THE GROSSEST Thing you have EVER seen!!! That is if you haven´t seen this one...
The clip weights in on a mere 6mb and is 2 minutes and 46 seconds long. IMHO (=In My Humble Opinion) a sane person is not, I repeat, NOT able to see this clip without a looking somewhere else at times... This to prove somewhat that I AM infact pretty normal...
:-)
And, one more thing, You thought this clip is REALLY Gross by reading the description??? I haven´t even described the WHOLE Clip yet!!! And I Wont!!!
Oh Joy!!! The only thing I Wish is that I could be able to see all your peoples reactions to this clip... I REALLY Wish I could...
:-)
So, Download this one and show it to your workmates (ColinZeal Goes Australia!!!) or whoever and, and Mail Me Their and Your reactions!!!
:-)

*UPDATE* (2000-09-24)

Here are some of the stories I received in the mail about this clip...

I told my pregnant wife about it and she said that it was gross and that was she hadnt seen it yet

so i showed it to her and she stood behind me and had puke motions and then ran to the toilet

my self yeah i had them too and then closed the window
and send the movie to my best friend he he :-)

(Thomas)

This one really hits you in the gag reflex! You can almost smell it, UGH!

(Barb O.)

I just had pure ROTFL experience with chunks.mpeg few mins ago. I had a talk
with my friend about the video stuff on the net and at certain point I told
him about "the grossest video ever seen". I started telling him and just
after few seconds he stopped me with "OH SHIT I'VE SEEN THAT!", turned to
his girlfriend and began imitating the first part (showing how deep the
japanese girl stuck her hand) with stg. like "Hey you know! I told you about
this...!" Hi-la-ri-ous! She, with explicit disgustion in her face told him
"Yes yes, you told me few times just half an our before!!! I don't want to
hear again... nooooooo..." Within her last words we found ourselves
maniacally imitating random parts of the video both laughing our asses off,
one showing how she takes the bowl to drink and another one eating the
half-digested food etc. :-))))))

Btw. don't write there it lasts for 2:46, write that it's ETERNITY instead
;-)

(Frederik de la Krueger)

I happened to see this one before I had ever seen any scat, snuff or other vomit clips. So imagine my shock and horror at discovering this when I searched on Scour File Exchange for any video file with the word "sick".

I have a couple friends who said they had "seen everything" , I didn't tell them anything about what they were about to see and confidently placed two ten dollar bills on the table. I told them they could have it if they watched the whole thing without looking away and the last person to flinch could have them both if he cold just watch the whole thing through to the end, flinching or not. You already know the end to this story, Joe looked away when she started fishing, Jake looked away when she wanted her "cheerio" back, and they both turned completely away from the monitor when she got thirsty.

I can truly say I'm a stronger man for seeing it, nothing can phase me anymore. I saw my first violent snuff clip the next day and said "huh, interesting... ". (that's kinda sad)

However, I do have a stronger gag reflex now- if my girlfriend sticks her nipple to far in my mouth I'll gag. Having sex is just the perfect time to have flashbacks of that fucking video, you know?

(Cody M.)

for some reason i watched "chunks " and just about all i could think was, what the hell is wrong with this woman? people eating their puke is not right and goes right along with having sex with animals. she is sick and should die. i hope to god she doesn't have any kids or family or friends.
she is worthless.

(Allison)

Holy Hell!!! I just finished watching the clip where the girl vomits into the bowl and eats it. Most of your other clips I play four or five times to really appreciate. This one I will NEVER watch again! It's true that it's physically impossible to watch without looking away. I kept putting my hands over my eyes and watching the timer, praying that it would hurry up and be over. I almost vomited myself, which would have been so disgusting that it would've made me vomit again. I would've been on a vomit loop for a while.

Are the Japanese just really into vomit? This looked like the same girl who vomits into the other woman's mouth in the bath. I won't talk about the Germans and their shit. Jeezus! What is it with people?!?

Anyway, I LOVE it! Thank you for existing. This is a great site I'll be recommending to my friends with similar tastes.

(Holley)

Ten days later I get the following mail from the same person:

Hey. I finally got ONE person to watch the Japanese vomit-eating girl. Sort of. I said, "Hey, Natalie, you like gross and disgusting stuff, right?" She said, "YES!! I LOVE IT!!" So I thought, "Great, finally I've found someone who shares my tastes."
So we went to your site and I was describing the different clips and she wanted to see Traingirl. She laughed when she saw it. I thought, "Oh, now here's a woman with a HARD heart. She'll love the vomit." I described it to her while the vomit girl was downloading. She seemed like she was really into watching it. When it was finished, I stood behind her and tried to sort of watch through my fingers. The first vomit was okay. The second one, the one that kind of SHOOTS out all over the table, that was her threshold. She jumped up and ran over to the couch and said there was no way she could watch any more of it.
I am alone. I guess I respect myself more for being the only person I know who can watch it all the way through.
If I can get anyone to go all the way, you'll be the first to know, dearest Colin. It's my new mission.

(Holley)

Ummm... where do I start? First of all, I couldn't get through the whole thing. I don't remember if there was sound or not, because I purposely turned it down in case there was. Watching the projectile vomiting was nasty, but when she took the bowl to her mouth I lost it. I ran outside to my balcony and had to catch my breath.

I showed it to my roommate, and he nearly gagged. The sick thing was he kept going back and back and watching it in slo-mo. "Hey Seth! Look! She projectile vomits! Ewwwwwww! Gross! I'll watch a woman shitting in somebody's mouth before I watch this again and- hey! Look! She's eating the chunks!"

"Dave, you f---ing sick bastard! How can you watch this over and over?"

"It's not so bad in slo-mo." (Urp) "Well, maybe it is."

I then showed it to some other friends:
"Guys, watch this, but let me leave the room first."

From the room:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? GROSSSSS!!!!!!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH MAAAAAAN!!!!!!!! THAT WAS SICK"

Brandon comes running out into my bathroom, closes the door: GACK! GACK! The door opens and he's ghost white. "Did you puke?" "No, but I came pretty close. Seth, you are no longer my friend."
Needless to say I removed it from my computer minutes later. We don't speak of the video to this day. Classic gross.

(Seth)

Heheh.... Honest words from Honest people... :-)
If you have any stories, then Mail Me the reactions this clip has generated!!! If you need to, Download it and show it to people...

Size:
6 270 980 bytes
Format:
Mpg

Movie title: "Kicks.mpg "
Location: Local
Gore?: No
Description: This is a movie with a man getting Kicked on his nuts.

The dude in this movie should be me.
Why?

CHAPTER 1 : DUH!!!
(Written - 2000-06-20)

Imagine a VERY Beautiful Woman Smiling with her Whole body, at you, at your Jokes... (Maybe...) Atleast at what you said, that was meant to be funny. (Here´s for hoping!!! ;-))
A Couple of weeks later:

Imagine the Same Beautiful Woman (Let´s call her "Therese" shall we???) being out one night (Let´s pick ANY date... Umm... Friday the 16th of June 2000 for instance??? :-)) at the same place ("Avenyn" Maybe???) as You and your workbuddies crash after their yearly party. There she is. Standing. I walk over to her. Maybe I say something. I don´t remember that well. What I DO remember (OH THE HORROR!!!) is that I asked her if I could mail her... She looked at her top left as if she thought about it for a second. (Or maybe the answer was written on the wall over to her left... ??? I dunno! ANYWAAAAY!!!)
"Ok."
"OH MY GOD!!!" (Jaw drops to floor, literally)
Now my two braincells were Screaming at each others:
PENPENPENGOTTAGETAPEN!!!
Got a hold of a Pen at the bar, (I Think, I was Quite Drunk... :-/) and turned at her with a questionmark on my face.

She said:
"Firstname.Singleletter@domain.com" (Not giving you the adress boys... :-))

Got that, and started to write. She was VERY Clear about the Dot between her first name and the singleletter. When I was done I showed it to her (OH THE HORROR!!!) as I looked at her for confirmation (and propabably at her Beauty :-)).

She ROLLED her BEAUTIFUL EYES and walked away!!!

"What???"
A quick look at my hand hinted why she reacted that way:
It said:

"A. Dahlberg"

...........
Exactly, What you think right now, EVERYONE thinks when I tell them this story...
A facial expression that says, "It doesn´t compute."
"A. DAHLBERG?!?!?!????"

WHO THE *BEEEP* IS A. DAHLBERG???? and WHY did I Write That persons Name on My hand when I was supposed to write HER Mailadress?!?!?!?
AAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I´m SUCH an IDIOT!!!
(Drunk Idiot, but Nevertheless, an IDIOT!!!)

Ok, I know OF a person (I don´t Know him OR his first name) that is called "Dahlberg".
And HE - is a Trucker!!!

Seen him twice. Big Belly. NOT attractive (like Therese). A GUY!!! WhatteF*BEEEP* !!!
My God!!! Jesus!!! I Blew it BIG time. I mailed her and tried to explain and whatever but she hasn´t answered (yet???)...

So if the last one isn´t a reason to Kick my balls then Nothing is...
:-/

So please, let me know what you think by participating in this poll:
"Should Therese mail ColinZeal???:"

*UPDATE* 001018:

The poll is now closed, And this is what you guys thought:

Yes (13 Votes)

No (3)

Yes!!! He is one of the Funniest Guys around!!! (15)

NO, What a NERD!!! (6)

I´d LOVE to get to meet Him!!! (6)

I Wouldn´t go near the SICKO!!! (2)

I don´t Care about this Stupid poll!!! (16)

I dunnooo... He seems to have a thing with Truckers... (34)

Votes : 95

(13.68%)

(3.16%)

(15.79%)

(6.32%)

(2.1%)

(16.84%)

(35.79%)

And to glorify myself, I added the positive and negative votes together and suddenly the results looks like This:

Yes (Positive Votes, 34)

No (Negative Votes, 11)

I don´t Care about this Stupid poll!!! (16)

I dunnooo... He seems to have a thing with Truckers... (34)

Votes : 95

(35.79%)

(11.58%)

(16.84%)

(35.79%)

So, I dunno what to make of that last "Truckers" comment, Is that a "Good" or a "Bad" thing???? Anyway, back to the original story:

CHAPTER 2 : "Welcome... to the Real World"
(UPDATED - 2000-10-11)

The above story got an unexpected turn three weeks ago...
It seems that My "Casanova Mode" Ain´t all That... Mmmmm-Hmmmmmmm... (Big Black Mama Style)
;-)
I was working one friday or was it a saturday, when two girls and a guy walks down the stairs to our movietheater... I recognize only one of them, Therese. (Still looking Very Foxy!!! Well, DUH! How much can three months really do to you??? Really? :-)) I look for a recognition, she looks at me. NO Reaction...
Ufff... That´s cold man... *SIGH*
Time to stay professional with this.. If she doesn´t want anything to do with me, then fine, I can accept that. After all, I might´ve really humiliated her in a way three months back. And she never mailed me back, so she must REALLY think i´m... Uhhh... I don´t really wanna think about it.. but, if a person doesn´t even bother to Mail you back to say,
"You´re the Biggest DORK I´ve ever met and I NEVER wanna see you again!!!"
Then she just Might Maybe not like you THAT much after all, know what I mean???

So they say they want three tickets to "Coyote Ugly" and then I hear "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" from behind me and I turn to see who it is and I see our candyseller (or whatever you wanna call her, "the candy manager"??? Sure, Whatever!!!

... OR, maybe we could call her, "Jossan"??? That is actually what we call her even though I can´t be REALLY Sure that that´s her name... She responds to it so we call her that... *ColinZeal shrugs shoulders*

KIDDING!!!) making a rush to the counter to say hi to someone of these people...
I remember thinking,

"MAAADRE DIOS!!! Stey Cool Man´!!!"

Then I turn to the customers... Therese is Smiling as a "Hangon Keksi" (A Famous Finnish cracker, looks actually a lot like a smiley: "

"... Uhhh... ... Hmmm... Ok... Only, Therese would have more Glow when she smiles... You know, that smiley doesn´t do her Justice, You have to see her smile...), as we say in Finland... Smiling from ear to ear so to speak. You all should´ve seen her!!! (Pfeoff!!! Swedish Beauty)
She obviously knew "Jossan". GRRRRREAT. In a town with a population of 85000 someone is always bound to know Someone...
:-(

So, they got their tickets and 5 minutes later, as we´re sitting "Backstage" trying to sound as uninterested as possible I ask Jossan:
"Sooo.... uhh... who was that girl???"
"That girl I was talking to???"
I´m doing my best at Trying to hide my excitement over the fact that I could get more info of Her (without stalking her that is.

).
"Yeah... (Exhaling deeply to give the impression that I´m bored...) So... Who was it???"
"Therese. Why?" she asks as she breaks into a nosy smile.
Still doing my "Oooooohhhh, I´m just trying to make some little chit-chat, nothing serious" -attitude with another one:
"How old is she?"
"Eighteen, (now she´s Really revving up) How do YouKnowHer??? HAVEYOUMETHERBEFORE?!?!?? TellMeTellMeTellMeTellMe!!!"
"Cool Down... Naaah... Haven´t met her before... Just interested... That´s all... How do you know her???"
"She´s a friend of the exchangestudent who is living at our house!!! Where did you meet her? Have you talked to her??? TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME!!!"
I didn´t.

A week later I talked to Jossans Dad while he was ripping tickets at the other movietheater in this town... (HEY!!! I just figured out something!!! They BOTH work for the same theaterchain in this town??? HHHMMMMMmmmmmmmm... Coincidence??? I don´t think soooo... I smell something fishy here... (Ufff... there´s a Joke right there that I´m NOT even gonna touch!!! ...or smell!!! OH MY GOD!!! I Went there!!!

) hmmm... ANYWAY!!!)

The audience was already in the auditorium when I asked him:
"So, You remember that (pointing at my left arm) "Therese" I mentioned the oth-" At this point he starts Laughing out Loud and Hard... Sheez, this man has laughed at this incident for like three months now and he still hasn´t got enough of it...

.
Sure, if you can make someone laugh, that´s Great. But there´s Limits you know...

He holds his laughing to hear what I have to say next...
"So, You know the exchangestudent (Tracy) living at your place??? She has a friend called... Therese..."
He goes silent for a half a second and then he goes like

"Näääääääääääääeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..." (that´s like swedish for "No" in True disbelief)
(nodding my head)
"Yuhup!"
"WUHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
I´ve never seen or heard anyone laughing that hard... He was practically laying on the floor... The audience turned to me and wondered what I was doing... They saw only my silhouette (Because the light from the outside came into the auditorium) and heard a LAUGH coming from my direction.

"Oh yeah, there´s this guy laying *pointing to the floor* on the floor and laughing his ass off!!! *nodding* Really!"

Great.

Now, today I called the same Duracell Bunny (only a laughing one, no drumming here!) and Got some Reeeeally interesting info, Why Therese Never mailed me back and so on...

*SIGH*

He´s really zealous and I can HEAR through the phone that he has a BIG Smile on his face!!!
"So, Tracy talked to Therese and got the Real story... Wanna hear it???"
"Mmmm... No."
"You wrote A. Dahlberg on your arm as her mailadress right???" (He´s giggling)
"Yeah...???"
"Get this, Her REAL mailadress is Therese.xxxx.DAHLBERG@-" (He bursts into Laughter)

I´m pausing to lean my forehead on my palm... MY GOD!!!

"So, I´ve mailed the Wrong person... Fantastic... ... And that´s where I got the DAHLBERG from..."

I don´t think he heard that because he was laughing so hard... But finally he pauses to continue the story while I hold my breath throught the rest of it:

"And... *Holding his giggle* You showed your arm to her Three times to see if you spelled her "mailadress" right..."
"Uhhu...???"
"...and she dissapproved Every time..."
*PFUUUFFFFfffff...* (sound of me letting out a Lot of air through my mouth...)
"...Finally, she got tired of you and said "Leave", and when you didn´t... SHE Did!!!"
(He Bursts into a BIG Laughter)

CHAPTER 3 : No title Yet.
(Written - 2000-10-13)

So, That´s supposed to be the real story... And there´s only One person who can confirm that.

Therese.

And now that I have her REAL mailadress...

Size:
1 744 900 bytes
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Mpg

Movie title: "Sexylady.mpg"
Location: Local
Gore?: No
Description: BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH- OH, WAIT!!! It´s supposed to be "clean"!!!
...
"What´s supposed to be clean" you say???
(VERY British accent:)
"Oh, Leth thy maaaaster enlighthen you..."
(Very UNBritish accent; in Swedish actually:)
"Mensblod"
...???
Bloody Foreigners!!! (Sorry´bout the Pun... ;-)) Ummmm... That´s a swedish word for... uhhh... "menstruation blood"??? You know??? A woman bleeds for a week (Or did I get it all wrong??? You know, I didn´t Care then, but NOW I KNOW I Should´ve!!! *SIGH* If I only would´ve counted the days I couldn´t have sex with her, I would´ve known... Sheez Guys!!!

Pay attention huh?!?!? You might actually NEED that info in the future... ;-)
*Todays "Tip of the Day by ColinZeal" was sponsored by _YOUR_NAME_HERE_* )
from her... Uhhh... "Thing"...

???????????
*ColinZeal presses REWIND........... STOP, PLAY*
Dhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaat´ssch aa schwedish word for... uhhh... "menstruation blood"??? You know??? A woman bleeds for a week from her... Uhhh... "Thing"...
(*UHHUHU*... "I said, "Thing"... *UHHUHU*)
(You know, *ColinZeal leans forward towards the reader of this text (YOU!!!) and whispers* This site and all... *ColinZeal shakes his head* but when it comes around, i´m VERY Prudish.

*Pause for the effect* (konstpaus)

If I say the... "Word" for the female... "Thing" out loud, I can literally giggle to death. And beyond. People who know me can confirm this.
*ColinZeal leans back and does his best "Worst Acting" and nods*
REALLY.)

Ok, so it´s supposed to be clean... I tell you, if it IS Clean, not even THEN would I put a tampon into my pussy, (IF I had one, being and having one isn´t the same thing u knoooow!!! ;-)) Bleed all over it, take it out and Suck it clean!!!

WHATTEFUKK is it with people?!?!?! (and the woman in the clip)

Size:
2 908 106 bytes
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Zipped Mpg

Movie title: "Shitprank.avi"
Location: Local
Gore?: No
Description: I Love practical jokes, I try to set-up people whenever I can... My job makes it easier for me to find "targets". I work as a projectonist and when I tear the tickets, that´s when I usually do it.

Example:
If I see a pair of girls/women that have a bottle of something that we do not sell, I decide to do it. They hand me their tickets, and just before ripping them, I ask them with a deadserious face:
"Excuse me, your bottle of Coke, did you buy it at our theater or somewhere else???"
(we sell Coke too but not in a bottle)

The girls stop and look at eachothers with a little concern on their faces
"Ummm... we bought it somewhere else...(???)"
I continue with my stoneface and declare with a polite manner that:
"Well, in that case I´m sorry, I can´t let you in with it..."
This would be like declaring that "If you didn´t buy it from us, We´re Not gonna let You enjoy it Here!!!"

This is where they can´t believe what they´re hearing and always get a "little" upset (underestimation) and their jaws drop to the floor from disbelief,
"YOU`RE KIDDING!!!" the one more upset of them always says... And before they REALLY start to Shout at me and making a scene I answer the "question" with a simple:
"Yes I am." and I rip their tickets hand them back to them with the same stoneface.

Now, That always pauses them and it takes a second or two for them to realise that their legs have been pulled... ;-) Then they usually start laughing Really hard and say things like: "Hahahahah!! And I Almost fell for that!!!" (Looks to me like you did it baby!) or they just continue into the auditorium just laughing their asses off and pointing at me with their finger and giving me the "Ooohh Yooouuuuu!!!"-look.
:-)))

This movieclip goes a "Little" further (Underestimation again!!) than my practical jokes, But it´s Reeeeeaaaaaaaally Funny and Gross!!!

The way I heard it, it´s with a team of skateboarder on Iceland. They´re there to shoot a skatevideo, where they do cool tricks and release it on video... Skateboarders on Iceland? Maybe it´s Snowboarders, I dunno, time will tell.

Funny as hell! Download and enjoy the hell out of it!!!
:-)

BTW: You need Div-X Codecs for it, so download them from here

Size:
14.9 Mb
Format:
Zipped Div-X

Movie title: " Nice_bike_trick.mpg "
Location: Local
Gore?: Nope.
Description: Biketrick gone wrong. The guy just, REFUSES To let go of the handle!!! Below are some oneliners from me:

"This guy is Craving for attention"

"Dude? There are easier and more effective ways to commit suicide."

"Another 270 Degrees and you have the 360 degree front spin!!"

"What do you mean headbutting a cockroach??"

Do you have a comment to this clip??
Click below to send it to me... (Add your nick)

Size:
941 220 bytes
Format:
Mpg

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Be sure also to check out the Posts Page for some surely sick and tasteless but oh so funny stuff...
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;-)

(ColinZeal)

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