THE MARS CHRONICLES
Behold the previous guest writers brilliant entries. Did they really work alone or were UFOs involved? We'll never know...

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Name: Carlo - Monday, October 17th 2005 - 02:08:35 AM
E-mail address: carlo_p@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://www.viagra-here.com/
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Three layers of black crepe paper folded lengthways.
How would you prove the existence of space bats? dress up as a bat and jump on a trampoline
What would be your last words if you could choose? I hate you all so don't bother me when I'm reincarnated as a polar bear
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Sudden attack of pesky space nuns.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Do you think red exit signs are evil?
Last time I was in suspended animation Will Robinson felt me up.

Comments:
and what gonna happen next?


Name: Ben - Monday, October 17th 2005 - 02:05:21 AM
E-mail address: beneben@aol.com
Homepage URL: http://www.tamiflu.net
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? run away
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Ask the one in my closet if he has any friends
What would be your last words if you could choose? Using the bat bomb from World War II, I would find them and kill them so no one else will find out.
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Sudden attack of pesky space nuns.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? What's your favourite memory from 2008?
Last time I was in suspended animation Will Robinson felt me up.

Comments:
Heya, while you're chatting here, the influenza epidemic went on from Bronx to Manhettan already. The only thing you can do to be on the safe side is to take Tamiflu. I've already got one http://www.tamiflu.net. Take time to order, till it's late!


Name: Jim - Sunday, September 18th 2005 - 08:06:17 AM
E-mail address: jim@online-casino-777.net
Homepage URL: http://www.phentermineeffect.com/
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? The perfect way to block such rays is to use a little black hole. It will just "swallow" all of such rays.
How would you prove the existence of space bats? They bring email to me :)
What would be your last words if you could choose? Coffee, please...
Comments:
Thank you! It was nice to look around here :)


Name: John Key - Tuesday, September 6th 2005 - 09:06:17 AM
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? NHS helmet
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Magnifying Hubble Images
What would be your last words if you could choose? check please :-)
Last time I was in suspended animation i watched The Bold and The Beautiful


Name: Bill Harrison - Friday, June 3rd 2005 - 03:56:16 PM
E-mail address: cbillharrison@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/harrisonba
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Join the women on Venus
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Steal one from a space baseball team
What would be your last words if you could choose? Dam, I lived a long life
Last time I was in suspended animation When wasn't I ?


Name: Donna J. Bullock - Monday, February 21st 2005 - 11:42:40 AM
E-mail address: djb0898@sc.rr.com
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? panty hose
How would you prove the existence of space bats? import mosquitoes
What would be your last words if you could choose? i don't know
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? foolish question
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? not this one
Last time I was in suspended animation was in my mother's womb, sillyman

Comments:
no comment


Name: Robert Smith - Thursday, January 6th 2005 - 10:59:52 AM
E-mail address: setcc@netscape.net
Homepage URL: http://truechristianity.com
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? There is none. We should accept our fate.
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Send ECHO signals into space to disorient them.
What would be your last words if you could choose? Into your hands God, I commend my spirit
Last time I was in suspended animation I had a vision of a primitive society. The vision came true.

Comments:
I wish to contact other aliens on Earth like myself. I am from Xingsen


Name: Juan Valdez - Saturday, December 11th 2004 - 08:46:08 PM
E-mail address: andvari_7b@yahoo.com
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Depends on the rays. Sometimes I need a tan...
How would you prove the existence of space bats? All I can say is that it would require more flour than the earth is currently capable of producing
What would be your last words if you could choose? Buttered...cat...
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? We had an empire to run. Sorry.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? What is the proper proportion of butter to cat to efficiently put the buttered cat principle into practical effect?
Last time I was in suspended animation I tended to fog up the glass.

Comments:
Intriguing. I never thought this form of thinking could be done so, shall we say, swimmingly.


Name: Freelander Smith - Tuesday, June 8th 2004 - 09:58:20 PM
Homepage URL: http://grimmacres.com
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Fashionable but sensible Bradburite-impregnated travel togs from Lands End
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Space balls
What would be your last words if you could choose? I stink, therefore I was.
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Sudden attack of pesky space nuns.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Skull & Bonesmen in Election 2004: Who will the NWO support?
Last time I was in suspended animation Will Robinson felt me up.

Comments:
The Face on Mars has lubrication problems. Please send naval jelly. And seamen.


Name: Site Visitor - Saturday, April 24th 2004 - 12:04:07 AM
E-mail address: nospam@thanks.org
Homepage URL: http://site-visitor.org.uk
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? tinfoil
How would you prove the existence of space bats? sellotape
What would be your last words if you could choose? Not more chocolate
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Dust
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? which came first
Last time I was in suspended animation I had a hangover

Comments:
Cool site: nice smile


Name: Ed Duffy - Wednesday, March 10th 2004 - 07:43:09 AM
Homepage URL: http://dev/null
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Master Chong recommends insidious Martian ray block 3. Careful though, coz it's no use against sidious Martian rays.
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Challenge any sceptics to a game of space ping-pong.
What would be your last words if you could choose? "Next week, I will be mostly wearin' ... wood!"
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Hmm. Well, I WAS Tudor Keys, and I can hardly talk as it's taken me ages to sign this thing. (*blush *)
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? What's your favourite memory from 2008?
Last time I was in suspended animation it reminded me of Basingstoke.

Comments:
This is a local guestbook, for local people.


Name: Drake - Friday, February 6th 2004 - 08:29:41 PM
E-mail address: blackcat1753@hotmail.com
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Kill someone and wear their skin. Be careful, this only lasts for so long and if you wear their skin too long you will turn orange. This is a popular method for celebrities.
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Using the bat bomb from World War II, I would find them and kill them so no one else will find out.
What would be your last words if you could choose? The Holy Grail is at the Castle of Urgg.
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Not a clue. Don't really ponder pointless questions?


Name: Britta-Gabrielle Robinson - Friday, February 6th 2004 - 08:03:24 PM
E-mail address: zodyac7@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://yahoo.com
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Yak pelt wrapped in cling film
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Ask the one in my closet if he has any friends
What would be your last words if you could choose? I hate you all so don't bother me when I'm reincarnated as a polar bear
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? The aliens have infiltrated the system and are trying slow us down because we are giving away all their secrets
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Do you think red exit signs are evil?
Last time I was in suspended animation The people in charge forgot about me and left me there for a couple hundred years too long.

Comments:
The color red is evil It must be destroyed


Name: ashley - Monday, February 2nd 2004 - 03:24:24 AM
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? run away
How would you prove the existence of space bats? i wouldn't
What would be your last words if you could choose? i ent gonna die
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? I DON'T NO DON'T ASK ME
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? why am ya botherin wid dis website
Last time I was in suspended animation i fell in love (yeah rite)

Comments:
NONE 4 U!!!!!!!! LOL


Name: Zara - Monday, February 2nd 2004 - 03:17:50 AM
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? use a mirror
How would you prove the existence of space bats? i'd get my m8s to dress up as bats and hang of a tree
What would be your last words if you could choose? i love Orlando Bloom
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? cos it's slow
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? How do ya prove this
Last time I was in suspended animation i peed myself

Comments:
Hey 2 all da FIT lads!


Name: Lyd - Monday, February 2nd 2004 - 03:14:30 AM
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? by wearing bright orange pants
How would you prove the existence of space bats? dress up as a bat and jump on a trampoline
What would be your last words if you could choose? dont hate marmite... u gotta love it
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? you hav 2 read d book b4 u reach d final chapta
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? how are you?
Last time I was in suspended animation i grew a mustash

Comments:
hey


Name: Bavisher - Friday, January 23rd 2004 - 02:31:45 PM
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Three layers of black crepe paper folded lengthways.
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Look for the droppings - they're a dead giveaway
What would be your last words if you could choose? "Darling, that was wonderful....."
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Hadn't paid the power bill.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? That's a good question....
Last time I was in suspended animation I saw a very bright light at the end of a long, dark tunnel, and heard a voice calling, "Go back! Go bacK! , the box isn't ready yet!"


Name: Kyle - Monday, January 12th 2004 - 03:57:58 PM
E-mail address: kjanison@hotmail.com
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Jovian deflector shields
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Reverse echolocation
What would be your last words if you could choose? Curse you, entropy, you win again!
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? No ecological niche for chapter to fill
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? What is the most important question that can be asked?
Last time I was in suspended animation I ended up in this time period

Comments:
For a superb piece extolling the benefits of space exploration, see newspaper editor Rob Bignell’s "The dawn of a new age" at http://www.press-citizen.com/opinion/122803perspective.htm


Name: dunya wren - Monday, December 8th 2003 - 02:15:39 PM
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? versace sunglasses
How would you prove the existence of space bats? watch space balls
What would be your last words if you could choose? i love you
Comments:
i started to actually like paris hilton after all the controversy. now she has a reason to be famous


Name: Dana Conway - Monday, December 8th 2003 - 11:04:09 AM
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? kick their ass
How would you prove the existence of space bats? eat one on public TV
What would be your last words if you could choose? hey, y'all, watch this!
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? the martians tried to make people forget about mars with space rays
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? should there be homosexuals allowed on mars?
Last time I was in suspended animation today shortly after 4:20

Comments:
man, i hate aliens i think we should kill them all and move to mars and conquer the universe.


Name: Mr Stroopwafel - Thursday, October 9th 2003 - 03:54:13 PM
E-mail address: pptheo@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://www.stroopwafels.se
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? oops, a good question.......
How would you prove the existence of space bats? with my mouth ofcourse?
What would be your last words if you could choose? Father I come home!
Comments:
Nice! although I must be honest, I havent seen so much of your site....yet....


Name: Anonymous, of course. - Friday, August 29th 2003 - 03:41:17 PM
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Aluminum Foil, Hair gel, and some onions.
How would you prove the existence of space bats? the Solar System Wildlife Fund list
What would be your last words if you could choose? something to the effect of "Hey! That hurts!"
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Because bribing John Ashcroft costs a lot.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Are Martians allergic to peanut butter?
Last time I was in suspended animation I thought about how cold it was


Name: wah_tze_tuya - Thursday, July 17th 2003 - 11:43:33 AM
E-mail address: wah_tze_tuya@yahoo.com
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? insidious Martian Ray Block SPC 3,000
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Order them in a French Restaraunt.
What would be your last words if you could choose? gazpacho should be served cold.
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Homeland Security didn't clear it until just now.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? What does the sign at the end of the universe say?
Last time I was in suspended animation I left the water running, you should have seen the bill.

Comments:
"I love everything you hate and hate everything you love. Please kill me with love or love me with death."


Name: W!M - Thursday, June 5th 2003 - 02:22:27 AM
Homepage URL: http://www.geocities.com/velikovski_project/
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? stroopwafels do the trick every time!
How would you prove the existence of space bats? yes, just watch my index page!
What would be your last words if you could choose? i have no car
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? nobody is called tudor..he can't be dutch!
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? where can i find my tooth paste?
Last time I was in suspended animation i watch animations all the time, they are not susspended on dutch tv!

Comments:
keeep up the good work!


Name: X2 - Sunday, February 23rd 2003 - 04:10:14 AM
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Fireproof Conditioner + SPF "marsblock" 2000
How would you prove the existence of space bats? After a hit to the back of my head which blocked my vision for a few seconds I actually saw space bats, that is after my vision returned. I guess it was the UFO I saw 6 months previous to that and a momentary visitation from my family from Scotland that week which brought them to the tropics.
What would be your last words if you could choose? "Oh yes!"
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Because I haven't been around here looking at it. The reverse of a watched pot never boils.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? "Why haven't you been underwater, lately, as much as you used to be."
Last time I was in suspended animation I was underwater watching the fish at top speed - no that's not right, they were also in suspended animation.

Comments:
Why have I been so obsessed with underwater things lately, why do things explode when I go into suspended animation. These are questions, not comments! Why do I do things like this. Uh, so sorry!


Name: Vassil Bakalov - Wednesday, February 19th 2003 - 05:21:40 AM
E-mail address: vasko_b@beer.com
Homepage URL: http://www.aubg.bg/home/students/vdb010/site/index_fun.htm
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? always ultra (only the model with 'wings')
How would you prove the existence of space bats? i'll show everybody 'batman forever'
What would be your last words if you could choose? "finally!"
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? The question is "When will it disappear" before it reappears.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Why did Batman go to Venus to chase the male yellow crows?
Last time I was in suspended animation I saw Jacky Chan with an idle look and flegmatic attitude

Comments:
now there are 6 types of people here: 1. writing funny&witty things 2. writing almost funny&witty things 3. writing averagely funny&witty things 4. writing poorly funny&witty things 5. writing dumb things they find funny&witty 6. myself


Name: The Editor - Tuesday, February 18th 2003 - 12:18:53 AM
Homepage URL: http://marstraveller.cjb.net
What is the perfect way to block insidious Martian rays? Dandruff!
How would you prove the existence of space bats? Socks + Sandals + Beard + LSD = Space Bats!
What would be your last words if you could choose? "Not with the pastry!"
Guest question from Tudor Keys: Why do you think this chapter has taken so long to appear? Sometimes people just don't know what's best for them... or something.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? "What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter?"
Last time I was in suspended animation someone stole my body and replaced it with a forgery. I found out when I tested it in a wind tunnel to see if it still was aerodynamic... which it wasn't.

Comments:
My utter lack of a social life has resulted in this first entry.


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