THE MARS CHRONICLES
Behold the previous guest writers brilliant entries. Did they really work alone or were UFOs involved? We'll never know...

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Name: Jake - Thursday, August 16th 2001 - 04:00:36 PM
E-mail address: dolphin8497@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://www.geocities.com/chiron7936/index.htm
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? Well... after thinking long and hard on this subject, i think i would have to change to boxers.
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? Yes. Think of the headlines in Alpha Centauri... "EARTH DESTROYS JUPITER, A GAS GIANT WELL OVER 500 TIMES ITS SIZE-ARE WE NEXT?"
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? Sure, if you hand over yours... and i really like that chair you are sitting in too.
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? Actually, its niether. Robotic Pets are actually the next in a long series of invasions by the Japanese. A famous example is Pokemon. Inside each robotic pet, indeed, any appliance from Japan, you will find a three inch high samuri warrior.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? If you were to be stranded on a desert isle for twenty years, what kind of conditioner would you use?
This week, I have been mostly watching the mold on the side of the desk growing, attempting to overthrow my cruel dictatorship.


Name: Sasha Wright - Wednesday, August 15th 2001 - 03:06:34 PM
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? Well, I don't think it would be to obvious, unless I was wearing a skirt, so I would probably excuse myself and dispose of them.
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? There's not anyone there to be enemies w/ - as far as we know.
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? Sure, can I have car and houses keys. Fair trade.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? What word rhymes w/ orange?


Name: Gobelšng - Thursday, July 5th 2001 - 02:24:26 PM
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? Look to see if there was some way to harness the amazing amount of energy.
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? Only if the planetís gravity was something to consider when thinking which planet is our enemy and which is our friend- the sad truth is we would be crushed irrespective of what life there may think of us.
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? Sadly all my credit was on the planet Jupiter, and sadly all the numbers are far too dangerous, as well as heavy, here. (Sure, take it, I trust you! You also risk your life if you dare use it!)
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? Recording devices, but real pets are agents of alien worlds seeking to invade our planet and find out our weaknesses. They discovered we go weak in the knees for cute pathetic faces with huge watery eyes!
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? "If you were suddenly a fruit, would this have any affect on your job status?"
This week, I have been mostly watching the "cradle cap" on my baby's head growing and then pealing off revealing the metamorphic transfomation only comparitive to seeing larva changing into butterflies.

Comments:
Just when you thought it was safe to look, you changed your questions so I was no longer accustomed to the humour. I was afraid if I laughed any harder I would have a baby, a bit sooner than on the schedual Ooops- had it anyway and it's really cute...


Name: lin - Wednesday, July 4th 2001 - 05:12:38 AM
E-mail address: linhudson@hotmail.com
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? grab some tinfoil and transmit radio waves, attracting the attention of infidels everywhere.
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? We should naturally fear anything bigger than we are no matter how far away.
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? I don't know. Can you? Can you spare all of your teeth? I need some new ones.
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? I have been there! Novelty has no means to manufacture these things! They must be extraterrestrial!
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? You know I charge for this kind of service. You should name your next chapter, then decide on a question.
This week, I have been mostly watching ...ants with tiny vials of U-238 running all over the place doing something inside my electric water heater.

Comments:
I thought that insanity was dead.


Name: lin - Wednesday, July 4th 2001 - 04:57:04 AM
E-mail address: lin@kvmo.net
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? grab some tinfoil and transmit radio waves.
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? We should naturally fear anything bigger than we are.


Name: U.N.I.T.AI - Friday, June 15th 2001 - 07:44:22 AM
E-mail address: rcheng@hotmail.com
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? It is technically impossible for the Northern Lights to occur.
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? Jupiter is inhospitable for life, I think that its moon's could be our enemies.
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? You can on the bases if I can have your soul.
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? There is no N.W.G, but those robotic pets are a waste of good resources. Stupid jap trash.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? If there was a god, why did he create you?
This week, I have been mostly watching Watching a cute blonde with fairly good tits, masterbate in the other apartment, late at night

Comments:
The stab in the back is the sweetest stab of all. -Josha, the back stabber.
Once I dreamt of death, now it dreams of me, and only rats and rotting flesh, will hear my silent plea. -Crypt Hymn


Name: Wolf Carson - Tuesday, May 15th 2001 - 09:34:58 PM
E-mail address: terrorblade@hotmail.com
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? Could never happen. The northern lights are caused by cosmic radiation entering the atmosphere, thus have nothing to do with static electricity. Besides, I don't wear undies.
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? Na, but better keep an eye on Pluto. I hear he's fucking Goofy.
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? How about an even trade? My credit card number for your daughter. I promise not to do anything with her either.
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? Seek help. They're just more jap crap. (no, I'm not racist, I hate EVERYBODY!)
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? If human beings only use 12% of their brain, why is it lawyers and politicians only use 1%?
This week, I have been mostly watching ...that "thing" on my ass get bigger.

Comments:
Whoever said "the pen is mightier than the sword" never met a samurai with a hang-over.


Name: tasslehof - Monday, May 14th 2001 - 05:48:02 AM
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? show it to a mage
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? no ones your enemy unless there evil
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? wats a credit card is it kender friendly
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? are they attacking the temple of tymora again
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? were are the shiny things for tasslehof
This week, I have been mostly watching trolls and orcs get exploded by magic users

Comments:
i found this wallet it was lying on the bar i thought i would keep it safe


Name: wah_tze_tuya - Tuesday, May 8th 2001 - 03:18:39 PM
E-mail address: wah_tze_tuya@wenatchee.net
Homepage URL: http://www.geocities.com/wah_tze_tuya
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? I'd patent, package, and sell electrostatic underwear
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? Yes! Those nasty Jovans are just biding their time!!!
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? Fer a nikkel i wold
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? Everything is a government conspiracy!
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, will the universe suddenly collapse into a singularity creating a new big bang starting the whole thing over again then causing more conspiracies to be inflicted on an unsuspecting population or not?
This week, I have been mostly watching YOU!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha

Comments:
How do I find the truth? Is it real?


Name: Ann - Tuesday, May 1st 2001 - 06:33:18 PM
E-mail address: Stampncraftah@aol.com
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? Just sit back and enjoy
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? The Jupes I've met have all been very nice, really.
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? Sure, if you can get it out of my purse
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? I thought Furbies were supposed to be the secret recording devices...etc.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? "Is it soup, yet?

Comments:
Sorry...


Name: The Vampire Armand - Sunday, April 29th 2001 - 11:33:33 PM
E-mail address: AnneRice@aol.com
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? Oh I am sorry, I thought I had made it perfectly clear that I don't wear any underwear!
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? Wait a minute...I thought the bus said Jupiter...aren't we already on Jupiter...CRAP!
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? Unfortunetly, the people at Visa have stated that some unauthorized user had ran up my card calling that tarot card lady from TV...sorry!!!
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? Cool Novelty Items...(as he shakes his head violently from left to right...scared that the New World Government might see his true feeling toward this question)
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Why do silly people talk to their cats with soft baby voices???
This week, I have been mostly watching The tarot card lady on TV...

Comments:
Armand seeking Lestat...I'm hungry, lets eat!!!


Name: BraveHeart the Lion - Sunday, April 29th 2001 - 11:19:57 PM
E-mail address: MeowMeow@catnip.com
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? Meow
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? Meow...Meow
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? Meow...Meow...Meow
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? Meow...Meow...Meow...Meow
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Meow
This week, I have been mostly watching Meow..Meow...Meow...Meow...Meow...Meow

Comments:
Look, I just thought this would satisfy my master...she is always talking to me and I have to bite my tongue everytime I want answer her...I mean what the hell is she thinking...I AM JUST A FAT CAT!!!


Name: sidestepsally - Saturday, April 28th 2001 - 08:42:33 PM
E-mail address: holyshit@aol.com
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? start breathing through my mouth
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? I wonder,What would Jean Luc Bacardi do?
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? Sure just send me your left kidney.
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? Regardless, I think the S&M movement is only getting better.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Is it possible to fart in a blackhole?
This week, I have been mostly watching my skin crawling.

Comments:
I cannot comment any further as my asshole is tighter than usual.


Name: Gary Ray - Saturday, April 14th 2001 - 05:07:32 PM
E-mail address: Caslon Bld@aol.com
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? Stop masturbating with my wife's nylon underwear.
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? First we should determine how far he could throw his trident.
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? Sure! 4530 0898 3937 5487 6852 4893 0097 9053
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? Neither! Expensive rip-offs that my kid got tired of in 2 days.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Space: the Final Frontier? or - Space: the area between your ears?
This week, I have been mostly watching Spiders in my sock drawer

Comments:
The little lady and I are planning a trip to Cancun in the fall, but I've heard rumors that the people down there are, well, you know - different. We may go to Tulsa instead.


Name: Nathan D Newton - Thursday, April 12th 2001 - 06:54:50 PM
E-mail address: poorpitifuldean@aol.com
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? wear them backwards in the future
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? YES!!! Jupiter spelled backwards isretipuJ---think about it
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? the home doesn't allow us to have credit cards
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? WHUT?????
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Ask for proof of sanity
This week, I have been mostly watching Alien beings harvesting fireants


Name: Billy Bob the /tenth - Tuesday, April 10th 2001 - 01:28:56 AM
E-mail address: anytrailerpark@JerrySpringer.com
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? screw my cousin
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? only if they move in next door
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? what is a credit card?I have fifty two cards but not one of them
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? WHAT the hell are you asking city boy
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? Is making love to your mom and sister wrong ?
This week, I have been mostly watching Jerry Jerry Jerry


Name: CydonianWolf - Tuesday, April 10th 2001 - 01:11:58 AM
E-mail address: cydonianwolf@roadrunner.jacksonville.net
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? Take my underwear off before I jerk off...
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? I think the Jovians should be more afraid of us...
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? 1-800-WET-TITS...
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? I'm impressed. Not many people are familiar with the word 'infadel'...
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter?...
This week, I have been mostly watching You...

Comments:
The humorous content of this site makes me cream my pants...


Name: The Editor - Friday, April 6th 2001 - 03:09:49 AM
Homepage URL: http://marstraveller.cjb.net
What would you do if the electrostatic discharge in your underwear caused a northern lights outburst? I would sue the underwear manufacturer and call my therapist.
Irrespective of the distance, should we consider Jupiter an enemy? Hey, don't let the distance lull you into a false sense of security!
Can I have your credit card number if I promise not to do anything with it? Unfortunately there's no way to give you the number without ruining the card.
Guest question from Kosh: Robotic Pets: Cool novelty items or secret recording devices used by the New World Government to see who is faithful to their cause and who isn't so that an accurate nullification can occur of all infidels? Definately a recording device! I also suspect that my microwave oven is a gateway to another dimension from where they can watch me.
What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter? "What question do you think I should ask in the next chapter?"
This week, I have been mostly watching Rorschack inkblots.

Comments:
My utter lack of a social life has resulted in this first entry.


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