Cat tale
One day Hodja bought two kilos of meat and took it home to his wife. Then he returned to work. Immediately, his wife called her relatives and prepared a superb dinner. In the evening, Hodja returned for supper, and his wife offered him nothing but bread and onions. He turned to her and said,
- But why haven't you prepared anything from the meat?
- I rinsed the meat and was going to put it on the stove when this damn cat came up and took it away, she said.
Hodja at once ran to get the scales. Then he found the cat and weighed it. It was exactly two kilos!
Then he turned to his wife and said,
- Look here! If what I have just weighed is the cat, then where's the meat? But if this is the meat, then where's the cat?

Prices of the birds
One day Hodja was wandering in the marketplace, checking out the stands as he always did. On one of them, he noticed a different bird he had never seen in his life before. A bird with strange colors. A merchant was shouting out its price.
- One hundred liras!
- One hundred liras for a bird!? said Hodja. Having been startled at the price of the bird, probably good for nothing as he thought, Hodja rushed to his house and fetched his precious turkey over. Finding a place next to the man selling the bird, he began shouting out:
- Two hundred liras, two hundred liras for a turkey.
People around him started to laugh. An ordinary bird like turkey could never go for a price like that.
- But, he is selling that weird, useless one for one hundred liras, Hodja tried to explain.
- No!, they said. it is a parrot.
- Well, so what ? What does a parrot do ? asked Hodja.
- Don't you know Hodja they replied all at once a parrot speaks like a human.
Never have expected an answer like this, Hodja paused for a moment and as if he wasn't impressed at all and he went on:
- If his parrot speaks, my turkey meditates.

How a donkey reads
During a conversation with Tamerlane, Hodja started bragging about his donkey.
- It is so smart that I can teach it even how to read, he said.
-Then go ahead and teach it reading. I give you 3 months. Tamerlane ordered.
Hodja went home and began to train his donkey. He put its feed between the pages of a big book and taught it to turn the pages by its tongue to find its feed. Three days before the three month period was over, he stopped feeding it.
When he took his donkey to Tamerlane, he asked for a big book and put it in front of the donkey. The hungry animal turned the pages of the book one by one with its tongue and when it couldn't find any feed between the pages it started braying.
Tamerlane watched the donkey closely and then said,
- This is sure a strange way of reading!
Hodja remarked,
- But this is how a donkey reads.

Hens and the cock
One day young boys of the village decided to play a trick on Nasreddin Hodja to fool him. With some eggs in their pockets they invited him to a picnic with them. After they served delicious meal, they said that they want to play a game. Actualy they want to carry out the trick. One of the boys said,
- Listen everybody, now is the time to lay eggs.
They took the eggs from their pockets, cackled and pretended that they laid them.
When they encircled Hodja and showed their eggs to him, Hodja began to run in the ring and crowed as a cock.
- Where is your egg, Hodja? What are you doing? asked boys.
- I'm the cock, Hodja replied, if there are so many hens, we need a cock, aren't we?

To make the people stop talking
One day, Hodja and his son went on a journey once. Hodja preferred to let his son ride the donkey while he walked. Along the way, they passed some people who said:
- Look at that healthy young boy on the donkey! That's today's youth for you! They have no respect for their elders! He rides while his poor father walks!
The words made the boy feel very ashamed, and he insisted that his father ride while he walked. So Hodja climbed on the donkey and the boy walked by his side. Soon they met another group.
- Well, look at that! Poor little boy has to walk while his father rides the donkey, they exclaimed.
This time, Hodja climbed onto the donkey behind his son. Soon they met another group, who said,
- Look at that poor donkey! He has to carry the weight of two people.
Hodja then told his son,
- The best thing is for both of us to walk. Then no one can complain.
So they continued their journey on foot. Again they met some others who said:
- Just take a look at those fools. Both of them are walking under this hot sun and neither of them is riding the donkey!
In exasperation, Hodja lifted the donkey onto his shoulders and said,
- Come on, if we don't do this, it will be impossible to make people stop talking.

Riding the donkey backwards - I (by J. Garrett Ralls)
One day Nasreddin Hodja was riding his donkey backwards, facing towards the back.
- Hodja the people said, you are sitting on your donkey backwards!
- No, he replied. It's not that I am sitting on the donkey backwards, I'm just interested in where I have been coming from more than where I am going, my friends.

Riding the donkey backwards - II
One day Nasreddin Hodja was riding his donkey backwards, facing towards the back.
- Hodja the people said, you are sitting on your donkey backwards!
- No, he replied. It's not that I am sitting on the donkey backwards, the donkeys facing the wrong way.

Riding the donkey backwards - III
One day Nasreddin Hodja was riding his donkey backwards, facing towards the back.
- Hodja the people said, you are sitting on your donkey backwards!
- No, he replied. My friend here wanted to go one way and I wanted to go the other, so we are compromising.

Alive or dead
One day two small boys decided to play a trick on Nasreddin Hodja. With a tiny bird cupped in their hands they would ask him whether it was alive or dead.
If he said it was alive they would crush it to show show him he was wrong. If he said it was dead they would let it fly away and still fool him.
When they found the wise old man they said,
- Hodja, that which we are holding, is it alive or dead?
Hodja thought for a moment and replied,
- Ah, my young friends, that is in your hands!