Have you heard about the heavyset guy, who had tried every diet in the world in an attempt to lose weight? He tried the Scarsdale diet, the Navy diet, Weight Watchers, and many more. None worked. Then, one day, he was reading the Washington Post when he noticed a small ad that read:
"Lose weight
Only $1.00 a pound
Call (202) 555-0238"
The man decided to give it a try and called the number. A voice on the other
end asked,
"How much weight would you like to lose?"
The man responded, "Ten pounds."
The voice replied, "Very well, give me your credit card number and we'll have
a representative over to your house in the morning."
About 9:00 am the next morning the man gets a knock on the door. There stood a beautiful redhead, competely naked except for a sign around her neck stating, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
The hefty fellow chased her upstairs, downstairs, over sofas, through the kitchen,
all around the house. Finally, he did catch her. When he was through enjoying himself
she said,
"Go into the bathroom and weigh yourself."
He did just that and was amazed to find that he had lost ten pounds, right to
the ounce!
That evening he called the number again. The voice asked him,
"How much weight would you like to lose?"
The somewhat-less-overweight man replied, "Twenty pounds."
"Very well," the voice on the phone told him, "Give me your credit card number
and we'll have a representative over to your house in the morning."
At about 8:00 am the next morning, the man receives a knock on the door. When he opens the door he sees a beautiful blonde dressed only in track shoes and a sign around her neck stating, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
The chase took a good while longer this time and the man nearly passed out, but
he finally caught her. When he was through she told him,
"Run into the bathroom and weigh yourself."
He ran into the bathroom and found that he had lost another twenty pounds!
"This is fantastic!" he thought.
Later that evening he called the number again and the voice at the other end
asked,
"How much weight do you want to lose?"
"Fifty pounds!" the man exclaimed.
"Fifty pounds?" the voice asked. "That's an awful lot of weight to lose at one
time."
The man replied, "Listen buddy, here's my credit card number. You just have your
representative over here in the morning!" and he hung up the phone.
About 6:00 am the next morninig the man gets out of bed, splashes on some cologne and gets all ready for the next representative.
At about 7:00 am he gets a knock on the door. When he opens the door, he sees a gorilla with a sign around its neck stating, "If I catch you, I'm going to screw you!"