There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long
trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try
to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone. So he
went to a sex store and browsed through the dildos, looking for
something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old
man behind the counter. He explained his situation, and the old man
said, "Well, we have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so
on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for
weeks, except..." and he stopped.
"Except what?", the business man asked.
"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the Voodoo Dick."
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box.
He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary looking dildo.
"Big fucking deal. It looks like every other dildo in the shop!" the businessman laughed.
The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door,
and said, "Voodoo dick, the door!"
The Voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started
screwing the keyhole. Before the door cracked completely in half, the old man
ordered "Voodoo dick, get back in the box!"
"I'll take it!!!" said the businessman.
At home he gave the special dildo to his wife. After explaining to his wife how to use it, by just saying "Voodoo dick, my pussy," he left for his trip. A few weeks later, the wife got unbearably horny and remembered the dildo. She got it out and said "Voodoo dick, my pussy!" The Voodo dick shot out of the box and started pumping her crotch. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, and still thrusting. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.
On the way another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd been drinking. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn't touch any alcohol but that a Voodoo dick was stuck in her pussy, and wouldn't stop screwing. The officer looked at her for a second , and then said: "Yeah right. Voodoo dick, my ass!!"