A perfect day

• 08:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses
• 08:30 Weigh in 5 lbs lighter than yesterday
• 08:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants
• 09:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
• 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
• 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
• 12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
• 12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs
• 13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
• 15:00 Nap
• 16:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card from secret admirer
• 16:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
• 17:30 Pick outfit for dinner, primp before the mirror
• 19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
• 22:00 Hot shower (alone)
• 22:15 Lots of foreplay - then make love
• 23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
• 23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day for Him

• 06:00 Alarm
• 06:15 Blowjob
• 06:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
• 07:00 Breakfast, steak and eggs, toast and coffee
• 07:30 Limo arrives
• 07:45 Bloody Mary enroute to airport
• 08:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee & Sports Illustrated)
• 09:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
• 09:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under)
• 11:45 Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
• 12:15 Blowjob
• 12:30 Back nine Augusta (4 under)
• 14:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay martini)
• 14:30 Private jet, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap)
• 15:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female topless crew
• 16:30 Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1,249 lbs)
• 17:00 Jet home, massage & hand job enroute by a naked Kathy Ireland
• 18:45 Shit, shower and shave
• 19:00 Watch CNN newsflash: Clinton resigns.
• 19:30 Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak
• 21:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar
• 21:30 Sex with three women
• 23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi
• 23:45 Bed (alone)
• 23:50 12 second fart, dog leaves the room
• 23:55 Sleep