1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. You know stuff about tanks.
3. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
5. All your orgasms are real.
6. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
7. Your last name stays put.
8. The garage is all yours.
9. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
10. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
11. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
12. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
13. You don't have to shave below your neck.
14. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
15. If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.
16. Flowers fix everything.
17. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
18. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
19. Foreplay is optional.
20. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut or not.
21. The world is your urinal.
22. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
23. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
24. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
25. Same work....more pay.
26. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
27. The remote is yours and yours alone.
28. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
29. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
30. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.