A young man is wandering lost in a forest, when he comes upon a small house.
Knocking on the door, he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long
grey beard.
"I'm lost," the man said. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lays
a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese
tortures known to man."
The man agreed, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and
entered the house. Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,
beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man
as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. But, remembering the old
man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was very careful and kept everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and near dawn he snuck back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock
on his his chest with a note on it that read: "Chinese Torture no.1: Large rock
on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can
do, then I don't have much to worry about."
He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out.
As he did so, he noticed another note that read: "Chinese Torture no.2: Rock tied
to left testicle."
In panic, he glanced down and saw that the rope was already getting close to
taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out
the window after the boulder.
As he fell towards the ground he saw a larg sign on the ground that read: "Chinese
Torture no.3: Right testicle tied to bed post."