From: "Peter Sears" <kinesys@hotmail.com>
Subject: Cracking
To: nv91-asa@nada.kth.se
Date: Thu, 23 Apr 1998 20:09:55 PDT
Message-ID: <19980424030956.8678.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
Lines: 133
Xref: void.nada.kth.se misc:5731


Cracking
By Reverend Kinesys.

 In these troubled times,it can sometimes be difficult to be different. 
That which is different is often feared and hated unjustly. Sometimes it 
can be hard to be different.it can be especially so when one feels 
uncomfortable around "Normal" people and feels isolated.  It can be hard 
to be considered freakish or bizarre. Have you ever felt that you had 
something to contribute if only someone would listen...If only you could 
get your point across.? Sometimes the only way to hang on can be to 
throw yourself into that which has allways been your haven be it 
role-playing games or computers or even
science...

By the way, did I mention that I'm talking about the Sons of Ether?

   I was watching Real Genius, One of my favorite Ethericly flavored 
movies, when it occured to me that many of us might be missing a real 
good thing in terms of role-playing. When Chris tells the story about 
Laszlo "cracking" from the pressure and from not realizing that his work 
was killing  people I began to see possibilities.

It is plain to me that when willworkers crack they usually don't do it 
quietly. Euthanatos go on killing sprees, Hermetics get megalo-maniacal, 
Akashics withdraw from the world, Dreamspeakers start to think that 
maybe the Unabomber has the right idea, Virtuals go crazy in any number 
of ways, and everybody has the potential for maruaderdom.

Ah, but it's etheric mages I'm talking about today. Each of us can 
understand that maybe instead of being the Comic relief that we have 
come to expect of them, that maybe they are really tragic figures who 
struggle and strive for acceptance in the only way they can understand.

I'm going to use our common experiences for a moment if that's O.K.  I 
don't think that it's elitist to say that an interest in role-playing 
games requires a certain amount of intellect so maybe we all share 
commonalities in growing up...Like;
1) Some of us grew up to be much more intelligent than our parents.
2) We learned very early on that the other kids weren't like us. they 
never seemed to get tired of pointing it out to us in that 
Lord-Of-The-Flies way that young children have.
3) Being different, we learned very early on to hate and fear other 
people for what they could do to us. this made it more difficult to 
learn any kind of social skill later.
(lest you think that i'm making a case that all gamers are some kind of 
misanthrope,
let me simply say that Role-playing games can teach you social skills if 
you think of it and try it out. I've known people to gain a measure of 
social grace this way. it happens... It's battletech gamers that got the 
REAL problems. :)
(actually, I should probably point out that's just a joke...for the 
humor impaired.)
4) We found ourselves more able to deal with adults even though they 
rarely took us seriously.
5) Having a sharp and flexible mind is not necessarily a key to success 
in any field.
How many times did you hear this as a child? "I don't understand you. 
You could really make something of yourself if YOU JUST APPLIED 
YOURSELF!"   I never could explain to mom and dad that my mind never 
wanted to sit still for the academic busywork they were trying to shove 
down my throat. It bored the shit out of me that I was so far ahead of 
my peers.
6) You find yourself having less and less in common with...everybody.
7) You find yourself re-animating dead pets...(O.K. maybe that's just 
me.)
8) You really think about things,instead of breezing through life on 
autopilot like most.
9) You really See things that everybody else seems to miss...and it 
frustrates you to the point of madness...the sheep-like nature of most 
folks.
10) You pick everything apart. ideas,religions,social 
structures,machinery,friends...
11) You find yourself putting more and more of yourself into your work 
or art because the rewards it gives you almost compensate for everything 
you have to give up.

Most Etherics have to walk in these self same shoes. Many of them, a 
long time before they awaken. Some Crack. Some give in to 
bitterness,despair,sexual dysfunction,
Delusions of grandeur, and other even less attractive psychosis. Some 
might even try to give up Science alltogether and withdraw from the 
world.( a concept for a Son Of Ether house painter comes to mind.) 
    Even among other Mages they are often the odd men out. Most mages 
consider the Etherics a few bricks shy of a load anyway and rarely take 
them seriously. This even might be bearable if not for the fact that 
Etheric mages can't even get along with one another.They compete with 
one another and often go out of their way to make trouble for, and 
sabotage each other. There doesn't even seem to be the "little brother" 
mechanism that's present among the virtuals.( I.E. "he's my little 
brother and I'll pick on him all I want...but if YOU pick on him,I'll 
FUCKIN KILL YOU!")

   So they Crack...They become bitter or withdrawn. they become cynical 
and paranoid.
they might develop substance abuse problems,(a real problem for mages so 
skilled with Matter.) I think that Etheric Mages have more potential for 
real tragedy than perhaps any other type of mage. It makes you think 
that maybe all those lab explosions aren't accidents.

While relentless curiousity is one of the main reasons that they deal 
with others at all,and keeps them driven and passionate, It is still not 
a substitute for real human contact. Etheric Mages like to have the 
intellectual pose down but it cannot disguise
the fact that they are at basis very passionate about their work. and 
that science has become, in every sense of the word, both their 
aesthetic and religion. When this passion is turned in on itself or when 
the faith is lost....it is never pretty. Ask any Chorus Mage.

So they Crack....Severly. 
-They withdraw from people and reality(go marauder)
-They run away from their problems,or their intellect (there isn't 
anything sadder than
an Etheric mage with a drinking problem.)
-They stop caring about anything other than their work.(like whether or 
not the work is the perversion of the natural order or will kill 
millions of people...)
-Or worse, they decide that the best way to get what they hunger for is 
to deal with the Nephandi.

Funny? Maybe. Comic relief? Sure.
Tragic? 
You tell me.
This cry for help has been brought to you by...

Kinesys@hotmail.com (Home of Reverend X.S. Kinesys)
Love conqueres all.
I should know, I've been sacked,raped,pillaged,seiged and razed by it.


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